October 14, 2009

When I got up to check Olivia in the night, I could see the outline of him on the dining room floor. Like an arrow, pointed out the door. I listened for a minute to his panting, gripped with both grief and relief. He's not comfortable and the vet said he will never be comfortable again. I said that I wanted to bring him home for the night and would bring him back the next day. "I'll stay with him, if that's okay."

He rested easily through the day, but couldn't really move around and had to be helped to the porch when we took him out into our yard one last time. Forgetting, I called him out of the car at the vet's and he tried to comply, but fell on the parking lot. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

They took him away to put a catheter in his vein and brought him back with a shaved place on his front paw. I remembered him as a puppy with a spot just like that after the vet pumped his stomach the one and only time that he ate things he shouldn't have.

They laid him on the table with a blanket underneath. I knew that it was in case he used the bathroom, but I appreciated that it looked more comfortable than sterile. As soon as they started the meds, he laid his head between his paws and that was it. Very quick, very peaceful. He was gone.

What can you say about a dog? He was loyal, he was sweet. Most dogs I have known were, but this one was special. He was my good and true companion.

Tucker Moose Grits

 
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8 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

My heart aches for you. We have said goodbye all too many times to our beloved furry family members!! ((HUGS))

12:36 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Those couple of years we lived together when Moose was just a pup is the closest experience to having a dog in my my adult life. I was just the aunty, the stand-in-mom, and I loved him dearly. Once when it rained all day, I came home to Moose covered in mud. How would I make it from the front gate to the door without his jumping on my pale, dry-clean-only, silk skirt? I pointed my finger at him: Don't you dare! I said. And as much as he wanted to, and as much as it was his every day habit. He figured out right then to stay back. I made it in without a spot of mud on me. Then I changed and came outside to rub him down with towels so he could come inside. I was so proud of him. And after that, on rainy days, I swear he stayed on the porch so he wouldn't get muddy again because he loved me.

4:35 AM  
Blogger :) Tracie said...

Sorry Paige....

it sucks when our pals have to go.

Wishing your hearts less pain right now.

1:17 PM  
Blogger c_eliott_j said...

oh paige. i have been thinking about you so much over the last few days. this post brought tears flowing...it is so hard to lose a pet, especially when you have had them for that long. they become part of your family so quickly. it sounds like it was time and that you made the best decision for him. at least we can ease their suffering so that they don't have to do just that...suffer.

erin johnston

2:07 PM  
Blogger Natalie Jane said...

Sorry for your loss. My family cat of 18 years died this summer and it is still strange and sad that she is gone.

8:53 PM  
Blogger alice said...

Oh, my heart aches reading this, but you did give him a graceful and very gentle way out, and that is a wonderful gift.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sending love to you all. I know this was hard and that you all will miss him. He was a good dog. Love, M

7:24 PM  
Blogger linda said...

So sorry Paige. Just the other day Juden was telling someone that Moose is the only dog in the world that he likes. I haven't told him yet. The picture of Olivia and him was so sweet.

2:15 PM  

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